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Strong coaching includes managing pushback

Posted: March 12, 2024 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

“My name is Lisl, I’m 16, and I don’t need a governess!”

Movie:  “Sound of Music”

Have you ever tried to help someone, and the person you are trying to help totally rejected you?  Did you think you were wasting your time?  In some cases, maybe you weren’t.

Many years ago I learned a lesson that I have never forgotten.  I was facilitating a 12-week leadership class, and it was session one.  We started by putting the spotlight on one class member at a time.  The goal was for each person to introduce themselves and explain what they wanted to gain from the training. Things were going fine until Gordon came up.  He said, “My name is Gordon Evans.  I was ordered by my boss to be here, and my goal is to get this class over with so I can keep my job.”  Hmmm…, I thought.  I like to meet people where they are at and Gordon was giving me ample opportunity to do that.

I decided to give Gordon his space for the first 3 weeks.  To his credit, he showed up for each class prepared.  Gradually, I began to break the ice…patiently.  I felt I was making incremental progress.  Then came week six, and he had a major breakthrough.  From that point on in the training, he was locked in, learning and growing as much as anyone in the class.

Six months after graduation, I received a call from Gordon.  He had received a promotion and was now in New Jersey.  He called to tell me a great success story he had that was a direct result of applying something he had learned in class.  I asked, “So you did enjoy the class after all?”  He replied, “No, I hated it.  I just thought you would want to hear this story.”  A smile came to my face.  Lesson learned:  If you really care and try to help someone, stay in there with them.  Your persistence can pay off in a wonderful way.


Understanding Generation “X”

Posted: March 8, 2024 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

Were you born between 1965 – 1980?  If not, you quite likely have worked with someone born in that time frame.  It is called Generation “X”.

Last week I was clearing out some old files and I came across some notes I had scribbled down in the fall of 1997.  The notes pertained to things we should know when working with the Gen X-er’s.  To my surprise, the recommendations and bits of wisdom were the same as what I read in an article last month.  Here is what we now know is important when working with Generation “X”:

  1. Every job is temporary.  Every organization is a means to something better.
  2. As a “latch key” generation, these folks are not comfortable being closely supervised.  They are remarkably competent working on their own..YET…
  3. They crave time with their supervisors and need continual feedback on their performance.

When we put all these pieces together, the second and third points seem contradictory.  They want to be on their own, and they also want their bosses in there with them.  Bottom line:  If we work with Gen X-er’s, we need to make sure we give them latitude while at the same time be in there with them side-by-side giving sufficient acknowledgement and reinforcement.


Make managing a two-way street

Posted: February 15, 2024 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

“Don’t say yes until I’m finished talking…”

-Daryl Zanuck

Have you heard the term “managing up”?  It means that even though bosses manage us, sometimes we need to manage the boss.  There are so many inspiring examples of positive change occurring when subordinates respectfully disagree with the boss.  I have a favourite example to demonstrate:

In the early 1990’s I was doing teamwork training with a thriving international manufacturing company.  I was instructing a class that focused on communication and leadership skills.  The company had sent all their managers and supervisors through the training – all except the company owner, Ben.  One day after class, one of the class participants took me aside and asked, “Why hasn’t our boss (Ben) taken the training?”  I replied that I had asked Ben many times to enroll, and he would just smile and change the subject.  Steve then said, “Well I think he should take the class.  He could benefit from it.”  Of course, I agreed.  Steve said he was going to talk to Ben about it.

Several days later, I received a call from Ben, the owner.  He said, “I am calling from my office and Steve has me in a headlock and says he won’t let go until I sign up for your course.  I am calling to sign up.”

Ben did take the course and thought it was great.  The people who surrounded him also said he was easier to work for.  Thanks to Steve’s courage and caring for the company, he helped create a stronger team.

I had been instructing the course for three years, and in that time frame many had asked why Ben did not take the course.  Steve asked, and he acted.  In his conversation with Ben, he was respectful and approached Ben with tact.  Steve knew how to “manage up”.  Do you?


Asking good “check questions” can avoid misunderstanding

Posted: February 15, 2024 | Categories: Customer service, Sales, Self-Improvement

This message is only taught to sales professionals, but it applies to all of us.  If we want to be in step with someone, always check our assumptions to see if they are correct.

Here is a painful example:  Many years ago I was facilitating a sales training session and we were covering the part of the sales process that included “check questions”.  Check questions are asked when we need to check the correctness of our assumptions.  One of our class participants was a car salesman and shared a conversation he had with a potential buyer.  The prospect was considering buying a new Corvette as a college graduation present for his daughter.  The customer asked, “Is this car fast?”.  Immediately the salesperson enthusiastically replied, “Absolutely!  This car will go up to 180mph!” As soon as he said that, the expression on the customer’s face went from happy to scared.  He did not want to give his daughter a car that went that fast.  The deal was off.  It cost the salesperson a $1700 commission.  He learned his lesson.  He said the next time he will ask a question first before he answered like, “Is speed important to you?”  This question would have allowed him to stay in step.

This story carries a lesson for all of us to remember:  Before we assume, check our assumption with a good “check question”. By doing this we will save ourselves unecessary stress, and maybe even a friendship!


How do you motivate Millennials to management positions?

Posted: January 22, 2024 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

Alright. I’ve put this subject off for too long. It is time to pull back the curtain and explore why Millennials and Gen Z folks are reluctant to take a management position. Here we go:

  • Lack of trust in senior leadership
  • Limited financial rewards
  • Work-life balance
  • Time off

OK. There is the “why?” What can we do about it? Unless we can do all the work ourselves, we need good managers to maintain a healthy, profitable business. In addressing the “how?”,  I decided to interview two experts on the subject. They are my two sons age 36 and 38. They are both married, have a family, and are in a management position with direct reports. I ask them if they agreed with the statement that most Millennials did not want a management job. They did. I then asked why. They said they didn’t know! I wasn’t satisfied with that answer, so I went deep with my questions. Here is what I found:

Integrity: When working with a Millennial, your word must be your bond. Do what you say you will do and honor your deadlines. Otherwise, you will lose trust.

Show genuine interest: Being aloof or detached will cost you. Be in there with them. Know about their hobbies and birthdays. Watch their body language and develop a sense of knowing when something is wrong. Address the matter quickly.

Make sure the person understands what they are “getting in to” and that they want it and possess the capability. Otherwise, disillusionment may set in.

Be sensitive to their work-life balance. If you need them to work extra hours, explain why and do your best not to make it a habit.

Many Millennials have seen their parents work long hours, be treated unfairly, and experience a parent getting laid off from a company they were loyal to and worked hard for.  The good news is, if you show a genuine interest and act with integrity, Millennials can be excellent managers.


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