Growing up, I remember my father’s toolbox. My favorite tool was the vice grip. It was a powerful tool that could get off any nut or bolt no matter how beat up or rusted it was. Although the vice grip was my favorite, I learned to be careful how I used it. It would usually damage whatever I was trying to get off. If I wanted to re-use the nut or bolt, I would use a gentler tool like a box wrench.
Today we have many communication tools we did not have in my youth. Texts and emails are the most common advancements that come to mind. Like any tools, we need to use the “right tool for the right job”. If not, we can do damage. Here is an example:
Several weeks ago, one of my coaching clients received an email that was not of a friendly tone. It also contained judgment and insults. My client (Pam), emailed her back in response. Very quickly, she received a response email that was even more acerbic. At this point, Pam stopped, went down the hallway, and talked with the other person one-on-one. With a good conversation, they came to common ground.
In my working with teams, I find that texting and sending emails can be a good idea or a bad one. Electronic communication tends to work well when the message is transactional. You can confirm schedules, send attachments or even give a few instant “Pats on the back”. On the other hand, if you receive a nasty email, I recommend you respond with “Jane…let’s talk”. Doing so can help keep small conflicts small.
