First impressions: How to manage that first split second

Posted: December 28, 2011 | Categories: Leadership, Team Building

Have you ever known someone who just seemed to attract people like a magnet?  Even to complete strangers, this individual has a way of instantly pulling forth friendliness from people, and bringing out their best.  In leadership, this is referred to as approachability.

 When we are approachable, people are more likely to trust and confide in us – critical factors in a high performance team.

About 15 years ago, someone shared a success secret that I have always remembered and use every day.  It is the “first split-second” rule.  Here is her story:

Sue was walking with an old friend on a busy downtown sidewalk  She noticed almost everyone her friend encountered smiled and said hello.  She wanted to possess that same quality and she asked him how he did it.  He said:

 “It all has to do with how you manage that first split-second you meet someone.  I find most people use this time to be judgmental.  If the person is in ragged clothes, we may hesitate.  If we don’t like their hairstyle, we judge.  What if they have a spot on their tie, or forgot a button on their shirt?  What if their name tag is crooked?  There is a lot of judgment that goes on in that first split second.  Instead of judging in that moment, I immediately smile and say hello.  I send a message that I am not judging them, and accept them instantly.”

 Sue thought about it, and decided to follow his advice.  Not being in the habit, she had to do it consciously rather than instinctively.  She noticed an immediate positive effect, and her confidence in being around others increased.

I decided to take Sue’s suggestion.  It made a difference with my family and also with my team.  As Sue’s example has taught me, managing that first split second with acceptance rather than judgment breeds good will and a more positive environment.