Respected leaders walk the high road

Posted: January 2, 2014 | Categories: Leadership

We all know the value of emotional intelligence in leadership.   Knowing it is one thing, but applying it can be more challenging.

About a year ago, I was coaching a client who owns highly successful business with a sterling reputation.  Linda was working with her biggest client and ran into a tough situation:  The company had hired a new person to lead the department that Linda interacted with.  When Linda met the director, Megan she immediately sensed resistance and hostility.  It quickly became apparent that Megan wanted no part of Linda, and was poised to undermine and distort all the Linda did.

Since this was Linda’s biggest account, she was tempted to go to the company president and complain about the new department head.  We talked about the possible repercussions, and Linda decided to take the high road and not get involved in criticism.  Megan was successful in getting Linda out of the picture, and Linda’s biggest account became dormant.

So where is the good news, you say?  Today, Linda is back doing more business than ever with this company.  Megan’s deficit in emotional intelligence eventually caught up with her, and she was dismissed.  Soon after, Linda was brought back to the account and the president apologized for the unfair treatment she had received from Megan.

Let’s press “rewind” for a moment.  Back when Megan came to the company, what would have happened if Linda had called her out to the president?  She would probably be on the outside looking in, just like Megan.  It was a domestic conflict, and Linda chose not to engage.

The next time you have a conversation with someone in law enforcement, ask them what they believe is the most dangerous situation they can encounter.  They will probably say, “a domestic quarrel”.

The lesson Jean learned is one that we all can benefit from:  When we are at risk of getting caught in a domestic dispute, always take the high road and maintain a stance of objectivity.  Blood feuds rarely have survivors.