The most important and neglected principle in leadership

Posted: February 22, 2013 | Categories: Leadership, Team Building

Yesterday I was talking with a client who had some exciting news:  She was the heir apparent to taking over a key position in her company.  She wanted a professional development plan that would help prepare her for the position.  We started with the amount of annual income she would be making, and computed that her time would be worth $75 per hour.  We then reviewed her time log, and asked the question: “How many of these tasks and activities would you pay $75 per hour for?”

In answer to this question, she found some things that fell short of that value, and immediately made plans to delegate these tasks to her assistant.  Then, I couldn’t resist asking her this question:  “When was the last time you treated Becky to lunch?”  There was a pause and she said, “ouch”.  Luncheon arrangements were soon made!

The book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is on the top ten list of the best-selling non-fiction books of all time.   The author, Dale Carnegie, write this book primarily from real-life experiences in his leadership classes.   He came to the conclusion that genuine, honest and sincere appreciation was the most neglected principle of leadership.  It is so easy to get caught up in our own world and agenda.  When we can put ourselves in other people’s world, it can make such a difference.  Here are some inspiring and heart-warming quotes from the book:

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”

                                                                                                                                   -William James

 “The rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hand and even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies”

 “Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.  You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit”

 “We usually spend about 95% of our time thinking about ourselves.  Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points….”

 Think about your own situation.  How many thank you notes did you get today?  Here is one thing we can do to apply this principle right away:

1. Ask yourself how many times per day do you show appreciation by doing, saying, or writing  something special?
2. How many would you like to do it each day?
3. Keep track, and keep doing better.

If we want maximum engagement of out all the people we count on,  let’s make consistent, sincere appreciation a goal.