Posted: July 16, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement

Are you an “eager beaver”?  By that I mean you are determined to do what it takes to advance in your career and live the life of your dreams?  If so, there is a very important person you need to help you.  I am talking about who you report to – your boss.  Your boss should be your advocate…your cheerleader.  They want you to succeed.  If you don’t have such a boss, don’t bother reading the rest of this blog.  (I feel sorry for you)

If you have a boss who believes in you and is a strong mentor, he or she is probably approachable and takes time to listen to you with genuine interest and full focus.  We talk to them about our ideas.  Our boss listens and asks questions to clarify and promote deeper thinking.  When they do this, they help us along and strengthen trust at the same time.  These conversations can make our work challenging, engaging, and fulfilling.  They open us up.  My questions is, how often do we open our boss up and show genuine interest in them?

The most respected and trusted leaders I have known are good listeners.  They spend a good chunk of their day listening and asking questions.  I have also noticed that good leaders, like all of us, like people to show a genuine interest in them.  I am frequently amazed when I coach bosses.  During our calls, it is not uncommon for a boss to dominate 90% of the conversation.  My part consists of mostly asking questions to help them talk through the problem or the challenge.  What I am saying is, bosses like to be listened to as much as we do.

As a coach, I spend most of my time listening and asking questions. I am paid to do this, yet in some instances   people ask me questions.  When this does happen, I tend to give short answers, and others are fine with that.  Then, there are rare occasions when someone won’t accept my short answers.  They say, things like, “Tell me more”.  Once this happens, I realize they are genuinely interested interested in what I am excited about.  Then I open up and really go on a roll.  Afterwards, I say to myself, “What a neat person!”  I like, trust, and respect them more.  My advice to you:  If you want to build a strong bond with your boss, get them to open up.

Posted: July 1, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Sales

Leaders are motivators.  Have you ever been in a situation where someone was trying to get you excited about something, and the incentive they were using was something you simply didn’t care about?  If we want to be about winning hearts and minds, we need to be sure we know their “hot button”.

When I think of this ability, my thoughts go immediately to an incident I experienced in 5th grade.  I received a test paper back, and I was pleased to see there were no red marks.  I got my first “100” for the year!  That meant it was time to celebrate.  I got to put a gold star next to my name on the wall chart.  After that, it was customary to go to Mrs. Pearson’s desk and ring the bell in front of Serapina the Cat.  (Seraphina was a book Mrs. Pearson had read us)

As I was basking in my glory, the person seated next to me (Chuck) wanted to look at my paper.  He had gotten one question wrong, and he wanted to know the right answer.  When he looked at my answer, he exclaimed, “Hey, you had the same answer I did, and Mrs. Pearson marked yours right.”  Smugly, I replied, “Too bad”.  Chuck blew the whistle on me, and soon Mrs. Pearson had my paper in hand.  She affirmed that my answer was wrong, and she was going to subtract the appropriate points.  Then she said, “We have to take your star off the chart, but I’ll still let you ring Seraphina’s bell.  Big deal!  I was not excited.  If Mrs. Pearson was trying to appease me, she actually made things worse.

A few decades later I found myself as a training facilitator of a 12-week leadership course.  Those who had perfect attendance recieved a gold medallion sticker on their certificate when they graduated.  At the beginning of each training series, I got everybody excited about that gold sticker.  The result:  I had the highest percentage graduation of any instructor on the team.  I remembered my experience in Mrs. Pearson’s class.  We love those stickers and stars, and they get us “fired up”.

Posted: May 26, 2021 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Sales

If you are a homeowner, you have professionals and tradesmen you count on to keep your dwelling fixed, cleaned, and updated. You have air-conditioning, heating, appliances, and lawn equipment. You protect your physical and financial well-being with professionals like dentists, doctors, and accountants. We establish relationships with these people that often last many years. We trust them. When they retire, we have a gap to fill.

Two years ago, my HVAC guy retired. When he did, he gave me the name of another company I could connect with. The next time I needed help, I called this company. They were on time and solved my problem for a fair price. We were off to a good start.

This year, I decided to do some preventative maintenance, and I had the new company out for a routine AC check. I had the AC on, and it was humid 90-degree day. The tech got out all his equipment and cleaned the coils and grill in the outdoor unit. Next, he went to check the refrigerant. He shut down the AC to clean it. When he went to turn it back on, nothing happened. The unit would not receive power through the 32-year-old junction box. So let me get this straight: You come in on a hot, humid day, my AC is working fine, you work on it, and now it is not working. Hmmm…

At this point I took a step back, set aside the “dinosaur” part of my brain, and began asking questions. As it turned out, the tech was following normal procedure, and when he shut off the breaker, it failed. Now we needed a new box. Paul, the tech felt badly about what happened, and said he would talk to the boss.

About 1/2 hour after the call, I called the owner of the company. He knew all about my situation and was very understanding. He said, “Paul was following the right procedure when he turned off the power outside. If that had been me, I would have turned off the power downstairs since the box was so old” In other words, Roger (the owner) was backing up his tech, and admitted that the problem might have been able to be prevented. Roger’s transparency and empathy convinced me I had the right “go-to” person. He was fair with the charge, and I plan to buy a new unit from him this fall. Roger dealt with my crisis well and used it as an opportunity to strengthen our relationship.

Posted: May 25, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Sales

When I was young, I used to watch a TV show called, “To Tell the Truth”. Here’s how it worked:

The show would begin with three people standing side by side. They would each pretend to be the same famous person that you had probably not seen before. (Like Dr. Suess) Each one said the same thing: “My name is Ted Geisel” One of the three was that famous person. The other two were impostors. The show host would then read a sworn affidavit by the famous person describing themselves and all their achievements. Then a panel of celebrities would each have their turn to question the people standing. After their time for questioning expired, the panel members were asked to cast their vote for who they believe was the real Ted Geisel. Even though I wasn’t there to ask questions, I was in on the game, and made my guess when the panel members did. My guess was almost always right. I had a secret that worked:

Instead of trying to judge content accuracy, I focused on the tone of voice, body language, eye movement, and the way the person responded. I was particularly sensitive to those who responded quickly and with confidence. I found the authentic contestants were slower to respond, more thoughtful, and would sometimes ask clarifying questions. In other words, the real person was usually not “slick”.

There seems to be common misconception that when we respond quickly, we show more confidence. Sometimes just the opposite is true. We respect the more thoughtful response that indicates to us that the other person is listening and cares. Being more thoughtful in our responses can increase our trust and credibility.

You may ask, “Is there any time when we shouldn’t respond slowly? Yes. If you spouse asks you if you still love them, respond quickly…very quickly!

Posted: February 22, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

Humility: Having a showing or consciousness of ones defects or shortcomings.– Webster’s New World Dictionary

In his book, “The Ideal Team Player”, Patrick Lencioni talks about the most important quality of the strongest team players:  Humility.

Are you a “just” person? Let me explain what I mean by that. A couple weeks ago I was talking with my youngest son. He is 33 and had been married for 3 years. I had asked David a challenging question, and he did not become defensive. I could tell he had thought carefully about my question, and he did not comment. Later on, David shared this: “When you asked me that question I was so tempted to say, “I just…” I held back and I am glad I did rather than reacting or becoming defensive.  I thought your question was good and I should give it careful consideration. I did so, and it helped me. I also realized the number of times people would say something starting with, “I just…”. Now whenever I am tempted to respond with “I just”, I take a step back and gave myself some time to think.”

David’s comments caused me to reflect on the number of “I just” moments I have had. I don’t use “I just” anymore and I don’t miss it. Not doing so has helped me become a more empathetic and improved listener. Try it! I believe you will find others will be more open to your ideas.