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Emotional intelligence starts with thinking right about people
Have you ever talked to an excellent customer service rep regarding a product or service-related problem? It is amazing how kind, caring and helpful a good rep can be. They must talk to their share of angry and irritating people, yet they have sense of equanimity about them that is fascinating. They have learned to “think right about people”, not take things personally, and focus on solving our problem.
When I was in my 20’s, I managed a property for a national lodging chain. I remember a specific customer we’ll call Mr. “K”. He was demanding, abrasive, and treated the front desk staff poorly. It wasn’t long before the team saw Mr. “K” as “persona non grata”. I could tell Mr. “K” was beginning to affect the morale of my staff, and decided to follow the philosophy of Mark Twain: “A sense of humor is a sense of proportion.”
I have always been good at impersonating others, and I developed a good impersonation of Mr. “K”. I captured his voice and mannerisms and began to act in character. I would wander around the front desk area with the stern look and intimidating voice of Mr. “K”. Each time I needed to tell the staff something or correct them on an error, I played Mr. “K”. The staff loved it, and we had a blast. I must admit that at first we were mocking him. Then a change occurred that we would not have predicted: We began to like Mr. “K” and looked forward to his visits. We were thinking good about him, and it showed up in our tone and facial expressions. This change in our thinking resulted in a change in our behavior. You see, abrasive people are not used to being treated kindly. Being nice to them can be disarming.
Mr. “K” became one of our favorite guests. He raved about our place and referred his friends to us. He was a walking commercial. The lesson here comes from author David J. Schwartz: We should “think right about people”. When we do, we strengthen relationships and become more influential.