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Category: Customer service
The #1 pathway to leadership growth
Throughout my nearly 50 year coaching career there is one question I ask that has generated the most productive leadership discussions. Here it is: “How many can think of a way to improve relationship and leadership growth that does not include improving our listening skills?” From the responses I have received from this question, I can only conclude that improving our listening skills is the best single thing we can do to strengthen relationships.
Yesterday I attended a visitation to pay my respects to a very special mentor who passed away earlier this month. His name was Joe. The funeral home was packed. In the memos, people talked about Joe’s caring and sense of humor. Most importantly, there were many who commented on what a sincere, empathetic listener Joe was. I remember when I talked to him he would focus on me and not get distracted. There was no tension in his eyes, and I could easily see that he was listening to understand rather than respond. It was such a great feeling. When we can listen as well as Joe, we can make people feel good about themselves and build strong trust.
Now would you like to know how good a listener you are? OK. When was the last time you received a compliment for being a good listener? Hmmm…
Two magic words that are still magic
“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
I remembering once hearing of a conversation between a worldwide traveler and person who was just starting to travel. The neophyte was going for a tour of Europe, and he asked the season traveler for his best advice. The reply was not complex. The travel pro said, “Just learn how to say “thank you” in every language you will encounter, and make sure to always say thank you.” Weeks later, the rookie traveler returned and said to the pro, “That was the best travel advice I have every received!” It reminds me of what we all learned in kindergarten: Say the magic words of “please” and “thank you”.
Last Thursday my wife and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner. We went to a local fast-casual restaurant that belonged to a chain with a reputation of friendly service. The person took our order. His face was expressionless. We paid up and shortly after he gave us our sandwiches with a “Here you go”. I was waiting for a “thank-you”, and there was silence. We quietly walked away with our food. It then began to occur to me that “please” and “thank you” are going out of fashion. That is sad. As customers, we choose to spend our money at certain places, and when we do, we help provide the capability of a business to issue paychecks. Thank you, anyone?
I also realized that recently I find myself saying “thank you” to someone who should be thanking me. It gets worse. When I do say thank you, I often hear, “No problem”. Really? I never thought of myself as a problem. I thought of myself as a customer.
Before the phrase thank you becomes extinct, I encourage you all to use this phrase wherever you go. Did someone do something nice for you today? Thank them. And thank you for ready this blog!
Being corporate without the “corporate feel”
If you own a business, and you overheard someone talking about your company, what words would you want to hear? I am guessing you would want people to say, “Nice play to work” or “Great customer service”, etc. What if someone said, “The working environment feels very corporate”. Such a comment probably would not excite you. The “corporate feel” doesn’t sell like it used to.
For nearly 50 years I have been a loyal follower of a local restaurant chain in Chicago. These restaurants were special places with a lively staff that knew how to have fun and make the dining experience special for you.
In the past few years, I have noticed these restaurants lose their luster. Orders get messed up, people stopped smiling, and things just weren’t the same. Three weeks ago my family and I had such a bad experience that we decided to end our 49-year old tradition. Before I made my final decision, I called customer service and told them of my experience. They promised to get back to me. They did not. It was time to move on. I wish I could say the incident three weeks ago was an isolated incident. It wasn’t. We’ve had several sub-par visits in the past two years. Last week I was relating this story to a stock broker, and he commented, “Oh yeah, that company was sold in 2014 and is now publicly traded.” The lively team spirit this chain of restaurants had built had died a slow death. They now had the “corporate feel”. Do you work for a large corporatation? What can you do to make sure your team has a “caring feel” versus a “corporate” one?
We teach others how we want to be treated
I have been in managing and coaching for nearly 50 years, and I find myself often reflecting on what I have learned. One of the most important lessons life has taught me is that I can’t change people. I actually used to think I could. I was wrong. What we can do is be a positive influence and also teach others how we would like to be treated. We have all known others who have been a positive influence on us.
I remember years ago I was standing in a short line in the service department of an auto dealer. When it was my turn, I began to explain to the advisor the symptoms I was experiencing with my car. He seemed to be impatient and dismissive. Sensing this attitude, I paused and said, “I may be reading you all wrong, and if I am I apoligize. I just get the feeling that you don’t really care about my problem and aren’t that interested in helping. Am I interpreting you correctly?” I said it politely, and there were two others in line behind me. The advisor immediately changed his tune, and got in step with me. Soon my problem was diagnosed and solved. Did I change this person’s attitude? Probably not. If that happened, fine. My goal was to teach him how I wanted to be treated. My first thought was to get mad and snap at him. Instead I got ahold of my attitude and asked a question. Even though there may be many people we would like to change in this world (and I’ll bet they want to change us!). Before we try that, we can start first by teaching others how we would like to be treated.
Caring: Where a strong team begins
In the 1989 movie, Steel Magnolia’s, actress Shirley MacLaine plays Louise Boudreaux, a grouchy senior in a laidback southern town. Louisa was among a group of friends who always hung together, even though there were times when they drove each other nuts. They were a community that always had each other’s back.
At the time, this movie was labeled as a “chick flick”. I think that that means it was an intense human interest drama. All that aside, the theme of the movie has stuck with me all these years: Close communities support one another and give each other strength in tough times.
In the past couple months I have taken on the project of going through all my father’s pocket calendars. Dad passed away in ’05, and I decided to take a look at all his old calendars before we discarded them. I am glad I did. His calendar entries were specific and detailed, and each day Dad had faithfully gotten out his yellow highlighter and checked each one that was completed.
As I was going through the entries I noticed how diligent he was at attending funerals and comforting others when they were ill. What surprised me most was the funerals he attended. Some of the deceased were people I knew he clearly didn’t like. Even so, like the movie, they were all part of one community, and they were there to offer comfort and support when needed. Dad didn’t show up to impress someone. He couldn’t have cared less about that. His presence was an act of support and community strength in this small Kansas town.
Today, the world often seems divided. Dad’s calendar is a refreshing reminder to me that things don’t need to be so split apart. Someone once told me that the definition of love was toleration. That’s a good place to start!