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Category: Customer service

What is charisma?
Charisma. Every boss, professional athlete, politician, or PTA president seems to like that word. We hear people say, “He or she has charisma.” We have also heard someone say, “He or she has no charisma.” OK…so charisma is good…but what is it?
I toiled with this question for many years until one day 20 years ago. I was reading a book by Barbara De Angelis, and she defined charisma as “paying attention”. What a boring definition for such an energy noun! In many ways, she was right:
Several years ago our family was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. We had two main servers when we dined: Peter and Ozzie. We liked them both. Ozzie was a natural showman, and knew how to perform. Peter was also engaging, but his demeanor was slightly more tempered. Peter ended up being our favorite. Afterwards, we tried to figure out why. Our thoughts kept going back to Peter’s attentiveness. He was the most genuine, and put his focus on others, being in tune to us as individuals. He would sense needs, and respond with help. It seemed his thoughts were so focused on helping others, he did not have time to say, “Look at me!” We did anyway. Peter had true charisma: He was enthusiastic about his work, and he put his focus on serving others. He put these two magic ingredients together. So everyone…pay attention!
Building trust can improve time management
There are many rules on good time management. Block time, prioritize, plan, have a vision, etc. These are all important. I would like to put the spotlight on one time management tool that is often overlooked: Building trust. When we build trust, our customers, employees, and associates see us as a friend, consultant, and teacher. This means we often spend for less time selling them our ideas. They are quick to jump on board. They trust us. Consider the consequences when we have not built trust:
Once I was working with a client who owned a successful service business. One day he shared with me a confrontation he had had with a customer. This owner – we’ll call him Roger, was trying to work through a concern that a particular customer was having. At one point, the customer said, “Oh you are just saying that. All you care about is making a buck”. That wasn’t true. Roger was a caring person of good character. Nonetheless, what the customer said concerned him. Roger said, “From what you just said, I sense that you do not have full trust in me and the work that I am performing. That is OK. It is my responsibility to build that trust. My advice to you is to find someone you trust. You need to be confident in the person who is doing your work.” As soon as Roger said this, the customer backed down, and said she was just having a bad day. She actually apologized. She was open now, and they could have a good problem-solving discussion. Roger knew that he needed to have trust to get others to listen, and listening saves time!

Pulling forth friendliness
Last week I received a letter from the Illinois Tollway Authority. What could it possibly be about? I opened the envelope and was dismayed to find that I was charged $24.60. That included $5.80 for tolls and $18.80 in fees and fines. How could that be? I had more than enough in my I-Pass account to cover that amount.
The next day I called the Tollway number. I was connected with Donna, and I gave her all the information about my account. When she looked it up, she found that the license numbers given on the notice didn’t match the ones on my account. Of course they didn’t. I know you are always supposed to document any changes in license numbers. In the past 20 years I have bought a car or two, and usually get a new plate. I never registered the new plates. I figured if the toll booths missed the transponder signal, they would have my license plate, and could look it up. Donna informed me that is was my responsibility to keep license information current, and they know longer looked up the number. If the tag number does not relate to a specific I-Pass account, it goes as a skipped toll. When I asked if I still owed the fees and fines, she said “Yes. It was your responsibility to keep your license information current, and you didn’t do it”. I paused, then said, “You know something Donna, I am going to get that money back. It will cost them double. I will curtail my tollway use, and it won’t be long before I have all the money back. I look forward to taking the backroads and enjoying the scenery.” Donna laughed, then replied, ‘I don’t blame you. I don’t like the tollways either. I have a convertible, and I like the backroads.” We then got into a conversation about her summer and her convertible. When the conversation was over, I still owed the money, but had the satisfaction of possibly putting a little spark into someones day. Before the conversation was over, she did not represent the tollway. The tollway was “they!”

Skillful negotiations: Take the high road to more profit
Two years ago I received a call from a client who was in a dilemma. He had just been informed by his company accountant that some equipment he had sold several months ago had not been paid for. The equipment was expensive and the unpaid balance was hefty.
Jack thought about his options: He could go the legal route and take the heavy-handed approach. This would burn the relationship. He didn’t want to do that. The other option was to set up a video conference with himself, his boss, and the two owners that owed them. They set the meeting up.
Next, we talked about preparation for the meeting. The most seasoned negotiators are very aware of these two fundamentals:
- Know your position of strength going into the meeting.
- Clearly define these three different categories:
- The ideal outcome of the meeting
- The acceptable outcome
- The “walk away”
The meeting began on a friendly tone that enabled everyone to relax. Jack’s boss is an excellent listener and he let the owners talk first. He then paraphrased and affirmed what they said, and they nodded in agreement. Throughout the meeting, Jack and his boss were able were able to clearly communicate their negotiables and non-negotiables. The meeting went well, and they were pleased with the plan that was agreed upon.
When I think about this situation I realize there are so many ways this situation could have gone bad with shouting matches and the destruction of a relationship.
We are all in the midst of recovering from the Pandemic. It is likely that you are holding someone’s inventory and have a balance that is overdue. If you value the relationship, consider having a meeting with them to find a common ground. Once again, here are the key fundamentals:
- Know your position of strength (and theirs)
- Define your ideal, acceptable, and walk-away outcomes.
- Begin in a friendly way.
And remember the “4 F’s”
- Firm
- Friendly
- Frank
- Fair
The power of empathy in tough times
Yesterday, following a doctor appointment, I was waiting for the elevator to come to my floor. When the door opened, a man standing a few feet away from me politely asked, “Is there room for two?” I quickly responded, “Yes. Absolutely”, and thanked him for asking. The elevator carried us to our destination, and we then went our separate paths.
Afterwards I was reflecting on the exchange. If I were a merchant, and he was a vendor, I would probably be very comfortable doing business with him. He thought of me and my world, and he valued it. Such unselfish acts go a long way in displaying our character.
During this current Covid-19 Crisis, I am frequently asked by my clients, “How do I manage my customer relationships during this time?” Most folks are very distracted now, and the last thing they want to do is talk to a salesperson. They need support, friends, and people who give them confidence in the future. They need us.
Successful salespeople are good friends. Surveys have consistently shown that those who are most loyal to their suppliers describe their rep most often with these three words: Friend, consultant, and teacher. When we are struggling through tough times, we count on friends, people who will listen, and those who can help us gain a more favorable perspective. That’s you!
If you haven’t already, make a list of all the people who have counted on you to serve them. Give them a call. Get in to their world. Ask “how” and “what” questions. Listen to understand. Show you understand. If you can do this, you will help them out and strengthen the relationship. If they need something, they will ask.