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Category: Leadership
When confrontation is unavoidable
If you are the owner or manager of a business, the past 8 months have probably been extra stressful. One of the most abrupt changes we have all had to deal with is wearing protective masks. Some people like them, others put up with them, and the rest despise them. Many times, those who are resistant to the mask rule are not the most compliant. When someone is defying the rule, we need to confront them. If we don’t handle this confrontation well, we can create ill-will and resentment. That is not good for productivity or turnover. Here is an example of an instance where a boss needed to approach an employee about wearing their mask:
Susan is a lively, gregarious team member with a beautiful smile. She hates wearing masks, so she decided to take hers off for a while. Wouldn’t you know it? The boss walked by. He was upset, and approached her in a not-so-friendly manner. Susan was hurt and resentful.
The next day the boss noticed the difference in Susan’s mood and countenance. He called her into his office. The first thing he did was apologize for the way he had approached her the day before. Next, he showed empathy by saying, “These masks are awful!” She sure agreeded with that. The boss then went on to state the rule that he was obligated to enforce, and asked for her compliance. She gave him her full compliance, and now wears the mask when she should. The problem is solved. My message to you is to remember the old saying, “approach in a friendly way” and do your best to understand the other person’s point of view. It can increase team productivity and reduce turnover.
The power of learning and remembering tough names
Who is Coach “K”? If you said “Duke University basketball coach”, you are correct. For extra credit, what does the “K” stand for? Answer: Krzyzewski (pronounced “sha-chef-ski”)
Dale Carnegie once said, “A person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language”. If that is so, it is important we learn people’s names and remember them, even if they are difficult names to spell and pronounce. In my 40 years of leadership training and coaching, I have found that people who put great effort towards remembering names are well respected. Here is an example of how powerful this can be:
Yesterday I went to the hospital to give a blood sample for my rheumatologist. As I was registering, I said, “I am here to give a blood sample. If is for Dr. Geevarghese. (Pronounced “Gee-var-geese”). When I said that, the receptionist and her assistant stopped and stared with their mouths open. Then one of them said, “This is the first time someone has said the doctor’s full name and procounced it correctly. Everyone says “Dr. G”
It is my assumption that Alex Geevarghese is just as proud of his name as someone named John Smith. With that in mind, I make my best effort to remember names. I find that doing so shows respect and helps build trust.
If this sounds trivial, here’s another example for you: A few years ago I was coaching someone who worked with people from the country of Laos. The name of one of his co-workers was extremely long with many syllables. None of this person’s co-workers knew how to pronounce his name. It was too much work. They just called him “Nick”. My client was determined to learn Nick’s name, and he did The next time he saw Nick, he said, “Hello _____ _______” Tears came to the man’s eyes, and he said, “You are the only person here who has taken the time to learn my name. Thank you so much” Lesson learned: We need to make a full effort to learn and use names – even if it is challenging. Take the challenge!
What is charisma?
Charisma. Every boss, professional athlete, politician, or PTA president seems to like that word. We hear people say, “He or she has charisma.” We have also heard someone say, “He or she has no charisma.” OK…so charisma is good…but what is it?
I toiled with this question for many years until one day 20 years ago. I was reading a book by Barbara De Angelis, and she defined charisma as “paying attention”. What a boring definition for such an energy noun! In many ways, she was right:
Several years ago our family was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. We had two main servers when we dined: Peter and Ozzie. We liked them both. Ozzie was a natural showman, and knew how to perform. Peter was also engaging, but his demeanor was slightly more tempered. Peter ended up being our favorite. Afterwards, we tried to figure out why. Our thoughts kept going back to Peter’s attentiveness. He was the most genuine, and put his focus on others, being in tune to us as individuals. He would sense needs, and respond with help. It seemed his thoughts were so focused on helping others, he did not have time to say, “Look at me!” We did anyway. Peter had true charisma: He was enthusiastic about his work, and he put his focus on serving others. He put these two magic ingredients together. So everyone…pay attention!
Why layoffs should be the last resort
You may have heard the expression, “Don’t throw away the baby with the bath water”. This is a saying we may want to keep in mind when considering layoffs during this Covid-19 crisis. If we are at this crossroad, here is an example we may want to keep in mind.
In their 50-year history, Southwest Airlines has never laid off a single employee. Remarkably, they have also made a profit for 46 years in a row. When Southwest faces an industry-wide crisis, layoffs are the last thing they do. For many companies, it is the first action taken to cut expenses. Who is right? That is a judgment call. If we want to operate a business that makes a profit for 46 straight years, maybe we should tune in to Southwest’s philosophy about layoffs. Here they are, as outlined in a Business Week article in October of 2001:
Consequences of layoffs:
- Severance and rehiring costs
- Potential lawsuits from aggrieved workers
- Loss of institutional memory and trust in management
- Lack of staffers when the economy rebounds
- Survivors who are risk-averse, paranoid, and political
Benefits of not laying people off:
- A fiercely loyal, more productive workforce
- Higher customer satisfaction
- Readiness to snap back with the economy
- A recruiting edge
- Workers who aren’t afraid to innovate, knowing their jobs are safe.
As illustrated in these bullet points, if we are considering layoffs, this situation should be carefully weighed so that we don’t look back and say “OOPS!”
Thoughtfulness can live forever
“My favorite person in the whole world is my grandmother. She always has time for me”
-5-year old on Art Linkletter show
During this virus crisis, many of us have more time to spend at home with our family. This unique situation can provide opportunities to strengthen relationships and make good memories. Most of us can recall a special memory from our childhood that we treasure. For me, the first one that comes to mind is when I was 4. Like most 4-year olds, I lived in a world of 95% creativity, and spent my time observing, trying, falling, and learning.
One day I decided to play with a piece of chalk. I had just learned how to draw arrows, and I began doing so on each sidewalk square. It was fun as I was experimenting with my new-found skill. I just kept going with no idea of getting lost or hurt. After doing 20 squares or so, I paused to look at my surroundings. I was lost! I had no idea where I was. Just as I was about to panic, round the corner came my 6’3″ dad, smiling from ear to ear. Dad was there! I asked him how he found me. I should have figured it out. He followed the arrows.
As you might guess, this story is packed with meaning for me. Dad was looking out for me and showed me once again that he was here to help me grow. I realize now that this moment could have gone much differently. Instead of taking the loving and smiling approach, what if he had yelled at me or scolded me for leaving the yard or crossing the street? I am sure we talked about that later, but all I recall is him being there and looking out for me. What special memories can you create with your loved ones in this extra time? There is one to be had every day…even if it is only a tiny one. It may be huge to someone else.