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Strong coaching includes managing pushback
“My name is Lisl, I’m 16, and I don’t need a governess!”
Movie: “Sound of Music”
Have you ever tried to help someone, and the person you are trying to help totally rejected you? Did you think you were wasting your time? In some cases, maybe you weren’t.
Many years ago I learned a lesson that I have never forgotten. I was facilitating a 12-week leadership class, and it was session one. We started by putting the spotlight on one class member at a time. The goal was for each person to introduce themselves and explain what they wanted to gain from the training. Things were going fine until Gordon came up. He said, “My name is Gordon Evans. I was ordered by my boss to be here, and my goal is to get this class over with so I can keep my job.” Hmmm…, I thought. I like to meet people where they are at and Gordon was giving me ample opportunity to do that.
I decided to give Gordon his space for the first 3 weeks. To his credit, he showed up for each class prepared. Gradually, I began to break the ice…patiently. I felt I was making incremental progress. Then came week six, and he had a major breakthrough. From that point on in the training, he was locked in, learning and growing as much as anyone in the class.
Six months after graduation, I received a call from Gordon. He had received a promotion and was now in New Jersey. He called to tell me a great success story he had that was a direct result of applying something he had learned in class. I asked, “So you did enjoy the class after all?” He replied, “No, I hated it. I just thought you would want to hear this story.” A smile came to my face. Lesson learned: If you really care and try to help someone, stay in there with them. Your persistence can pay off in a wonderful way.