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What is charisma?
Charisma. Every boss, professional athlete, politician, or PTA president seems to like that word. We hear people say, “He or she has charisma.” We have also heard someone say, “He or she has no charisma.” OK…so charisma is good…but what is it?
I toiled with this question for many years until one day 20 years ago. I was reading a book by Barbara De Angelis, and she defined charisma as “paying attention”. What a boring definition for such an energy noun! In many ways, she was right:
Several years ago our family was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. We had two main servers when we dined: Peter and Ozzie. We liked them both. Ozzie was a natural showman, and knew how to perform. Peter was also engaging, but his demeanor was slightly more tempered. Peter ended up being our favorite. Afterwards, we tried to figure out why. Our thoughts kept going back to Peter’s attentiveness. He was the most genuine, and put his focus on others, being in tune to us as individuals. He would sense needs, and respond with help. It seemed his thoughts were so focused on helping others, he did not have time to say, “Look at me!” We did anyway. Peter had true charisma: He was enthusiastic about his work, and he put his focus on serving others. He put these two magic ingredients together. So everyone…pay attention!
The value of a healthy sense of humor
“A sense of humor is needed armor”
-Hugh Sidey
Let’s talk about the value of having a healthy sense of humor:
Two days ago I was in a meeting with a church group I belong to. We have all known each other for years. We were reviewing a book we had been assigned to read. During our discussion, the virtue of “counting daily blessings” was brought up. That reminded me of a story, and I shared it with the group:
On New Year’s Eve of 2018, my wife presented me with a calendar she had been writing in all year. Each day, without fail, she would write something special about me. She noted nice things I said and did. I loved reading it, and it was one of those “feel good” gifts. Then, I began reflecting on what I had read. I said to Joyce, “You know something…if I had known you were doing this, I could have done a lot better. I’ll bet some days were better than others”. Joyce replied, “Yes, there were a few that were a stretch!”
After telling this story, the whole group roared in laughter. Then everyone else told their crazy story about their experience of human comedy. We all were overcome with laughter, and before we knew it, we had gone one hour over our usual meeting time. As we were wrapping things up, one veteran member of the group said, “This meeting has been so much fun, The laughter has soothed my soul. The world seems tense right now, and I think they could use a little of this”
I agree. We need more humor – not less. I am talking about healthy humor – the kind where we can laugh at ourselves or life in general with no personal insult to anyone. It feels good. Pour me another cup.
Building trust can improve time management
There are many rules on good time management. Block time, prioritize, plan, have a vision, etc. These are all important. I would like to put the spotlight on one time management tool that is often overlooked: Building trust. When we build trust, our customers, employees, and associates see us as a friend, consultant, and teacher. This means we often spend for less time selling them our ideas. They are quick to jump on board. They trust us. Consider the consequences when we have not built trust:
Once I was working with a client who owned a successful service business. One day he shared with me a confrontation he had had with a customer. This owner – we’ll call him Roger, was trying to work through a concern that a particular customer was having. At one point, the customer said, “Oh you are just saying that. All you care about is making a buck”. That wasn’t true. Roger was a caring person of good character. Nonetheless, what the customer said concerned him. Roger said, “From what you just said, I sense that you do not have full trust in me and the work that I am performing. That is OK. It is my responsibility to build that trust. My advice to you is to find someone you trust. You need to be confident in the person who is doing your work.” As soon as Roger said this, the customer backed down, and said she was just having a bad day. She actually apologized. She was open now, and they could have a good problem-solving discussion. Roger knew that he needed to have trust to get others to listen, and listening saves time!
Pulling forth friendliness
Last week I received a letter from the Illinois Tollway Authority. What could it possibly be about? I opened the envelope and was dismayed to find that I was charged $24.60. That included $5.80 for tolls and $18.80 in fees and fines. How could that be? I had more than enough in my I-Pass account to cover that amount.
The next day I called the Tollway number. I was connected with Donna, and I gave her all the information about my account. When she looked it up, she found that the license numbers given on the notice didn’t match the ones on my account. Of course they didn’t. I know you are always supposed to document any changes in license numbers. In the past 20 years I have bought a car or two, and usually get a new plate. I never registered the new plates. I figured if the toll booths missed the transponder signal, they would have my license plate, and could look it up. Donna informed me that is was my responsibility to keep license information current, and they know longer looked up the number. If the tag number does not relate to a specific I-Pass account, it goes as a skipped toll. When I asked if I still owed the fees and fines, she said “Yes. It was your responsibility to keep your license information current, and you didn’t do it”. I paused, then said, “You know something Donna, I am going to get that money back. It will cost them double. I will curtail my tollway use, and it won’t be long before I have all the money back. I look forward to taking the backroads and enjoying the scenery.” Donna laughed, then replied, ‘I don’t blame you. I don’t like the tollways either. I have a convertible, and I like the backroads.” We then got into a conversation about her summer and her convertible. When the conversation was over, I still owed the money, but had the satisfaction of possibly putting a little spark into someones day. Before the conversation was over, she did not represent the tollway. The tollway was “they!”
Why layoffs should be the last resort
You may have heard the expression, “Don’t throw away the baby with the bath water”. This is a saying we may want to keep in mind when considering layoffs during this Covid-19 crisis. If we are at this crossroad, here is an example we may want to keep in mind.
In their 50-year history, Southwest Airlines has never laid off a single employee. Remarkably, they have also made a profit for 46 years in a row. When Southwest faces an industry-wide crisis, layoffs are the last thing they do. For many companies, it is the first action taken to cut expenses. Who is right? That is a judgment call. If we want to operate a business that makes a profit for 46 straight years, maybe we should tune in to Southwest’s philosophy about layoffs. Here they are, as outlined in a Business Week article in October of 2001:
Consequences of layoffs:
- Severance and rehiring costs
- Potential lawsuits from aggrieved workers
- Loss of institutional memory and trust in management
- Lack of staffers when the economy rebounds
- Survivors who are risk-averse, paranoid, and political
Benefits of not laying people off:
- A fiercely loyal, more productive workforce
- Higher customer satisfaction
- Readiness to snap back with the economy
- A recruiting edge
- Workers who aren’t afraid to innovate, knowing their jobs are safe.
As illustrated in these bullet points, if we are considering layoffs, this situation should be carefully weighed so that we don’t look back and say “OOPS!”